Vanity thought #554. Life as a reject

Over two years ago I optimistically named this blog “Back to Krishna”, now I think I’ve coming to accept the terms of my “jail sentence”. Whatever they say about origins of the jiva a proper devotee should feel himself as ejected from the association of the Lord due to his own stubborn nature, not because of grand design of Maha Vishnu.

So I’m a reject, just like the rest of the population of this universe. Actually, calling myself a reject implies I suffered some injustice and did not deserve being in my situation. This is, of course, not true. I, as all the other beings here, have rejected the Lord on my own terms and this rejection was far more painful for the Lord than for me. I foolishly stomped out and still do not realize the extent of the damage I’ve done to my own self-interests, and, more importantly, to the feelings of Krishna.

Lord Chaitanya had mercifully come here to call the likes of me back home, back to Krishna, but, apparently, I wasn’t around. Mahaprabhu then sent acharyas like Bhaktivinoda Thakur, Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati and, of course, Srila Prabhupada and their followers to rescue the rest of us and, finally, it worked.

Still, I stubbornly refuse to submit myself to the authority of the Lord and the guru, thinking that sense gratification would eventually proves to be life’s ultimate goal.

It’s in this vein, as a sense enjoyer looking for the best deal around, that I imagined I should go back to Krishna where every cow and every tree fulfills all desires.

The reality, however, is different. For me and most of us as well, Krishna is present in the instructions of our gurus, we do not need to go anywhere else to find Him.

This is clearly explained in the following purport:

…if a disciple is very serious to execute the mission of the spiritual master, he immediately associates with the Supreme Personality of Godhead by vāṇī or vapuḥ. This is the only secret of success in seeing the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Instead of being eager to see the Lord in some bush of Vṛndāvana while at the same time engaging in sense gratification, if one instead sticks to the principle of following the words of the spiritual master, he will see the Supreme Lord without difficulty.

SB 4.28.51

I can’t bold enough the emphasized sentence. Instead of being eager to see the Lord in some bush of Vrindavana I should stick to the principle of following the orders of my spiritual master.

So far these orders haven’t changed a bit – we should preach, preach, and preach some more. Only preaching constitutes proper, full, and perfect sankirtana, everything else is just an imitation.

It’s foolish to try and find shortcuts, and especially to think that preaching allows one to graduate to sitting around doing nothing. Preaching is not some temporary means to success, it’s the goal itself, and avoiding it equals to avoiding Krishna.

It’s pretty simple – preaching, ie following orders of the guru, allows one to see Krishna, therefore those who shun preaching shun Krishna’s darshan, too. They look for something else, something more convenient, something more comfortable to their bodies and their egos.

It is also a simple truth that one concerned with his body or his ego will never ever see Krishna but will remain stuck in this world forever. By seeing Krishna I mean attaining unalloyed devotional service, not seeing Him as an ordinary object of one’s perception.

So, this – preaching – should be the life of a “reject”, not trying to get back into Goloka by any means possible. We cannot claim a place in the spiritual world, it’s by invitation only, so we should patiently work until than invitation causelessly comes along.

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