Vanity thought #125. Parasitism.

Continuing from yesterday’s topic – why do I worship Krishna? Isn’t He a bit of pippilikhanda for me?

The question actually arouse from another, pretty innocent one – why does Krishna play in Vrindavan? The standard answer – because He wants to enjoy all kinds of rasas that are not available in His other forms. He wants to have some “me” time, hang out with friends, enjoy some homemade cooking, chase some chicks.

Even in this world big people strive for that kind of simple pleasures. They get tired of being bosses and having everybody kissing their asses, they want some normal, down to earth relationships with normal, loving and caring people, too. Usually, everyone around them just wants something, either money or a promotion or a place in the spotlight, everybody has some ulterior motive they are not even hiding it very well.That must be annoying. Not all the time, obviously, but sometimes it gets on the nerves.

Instead of enjoying all the benefits the power, money and glory they have to deal with these bloodsuckers, these parasites who would probably stab them in the back at the first chance. I guess it feels awful when simple thank you is never enough, you always have to give something in return, people always expect favors from you.

Now imagine Krishna, the biggest boss of them all. Bill Gates is a nobody comparing to Him, Steve Jobs is a nobody comparing to Him. Presidents, Prime Ministers – an endless stream of faces from a mediocre planted in some tiny universe. None of these faces even register in Krishna’s mind. They do not even intend to register in His mind, and those are the greatest people we know.

Above them are demigods, hundreds and thousands of them, and they are all serving and worshiping, they all need attention. Then there are other universes, and that’s just at this particular moment in time. How many of them have come and gone since the beginning of time?

There is just so much begging and praying going on. And then there are Vaikunthas where Krishna is really obliged to provide for everybody no matter what.

Everybody, just everybody wants something from Him in exchange for useless gifts, like sacrificial horses or rice and ghee. Krishna doesn’t even need any of this stuff, yet He’s being offered more and more every single moment and He has to repay for every sacrifice.

Basically, the entire universe is like a one giant parasite, feeding off Him, they (we) all want Him to provide us with all kinds of pleasures and our appetites are insatiable.

No wonder Krishna delegates all these duties to His expansions. He doesn’t want to deal with parasites personally. He doesn’t want a headache of figuring out how to arrange everybody’s enjoyment without entangling them deeper in the material world.

That brings up the thought of gratitude to Krishna’s expansions that still haven’t given up on us and still accept our demands for more materialism and deal with us and never fail.

But then a devotee comes along, and, suddenly, the whole relationship is turned upside down. A devotee doesn’t want anything from the Lord, he just offers himself unconditionally. He won’t bite off the arm if you give him a hand, in his company Krishna can completely relax and finally be Himself.

That’s what He needs Vrindavan for – a place He can call home, a place where He is loved just for who He is. Actually He wouldn’t even want to be addressed with capital H there. In Vrindavan He is a nobody – a brother, a friend, a son, a boy, and I bet sometimes He is shy and scared of the girls, too. What if they don’t like Him?

So, keeping this in mind – what kind of soul am I? At least for now I behave like a perfect parasite. I remember Krishna only when I need something from Him. When I pray to Him I ask for my own comfort and pleasures. I might put an intelligence watch on it sometimes and stop my mind from openly asking for material benedictions but if I’m totally honest with myself I can agree that in my heart I’m not a devotee.

At the very best I’m a parasite who has found a perfect host to feed on. And the best part is that I might get some spiritual benefit from relying on Krishna instead of some demoniac bosses, too.

Here, I’ve done it again – looking for my own benefits.

So, honestly, why do I worship Krishna? He is not the one who is granting my kind of wishes, He is not the guardian angel, serving conditioned souls souls since 150 trillion years B.C. Why do I bother Him?

Isn’t it like taking that ill fated pippilikhanda?

If I only ask for things, wouldn’t it annoy Krishna to no end and He’d remember that when, or if, I ever make it to His circle?

What if I cry “Krishna, Krishna” day and night and He finally decides to show His mercy, and all I ask for is a new tablet computer? If I were Him I’d say “Get your damn computer from the guy minding the storeroom and don’t bother me anymore. I don’t want to hear your voice ever again, capisce?”

I think it would be a very natural reaction, and Krishna is a person, right? So He can get annoyed, right?

Hmm, somehow it doesn’t feel right – bothering Him with every little problem.

Or, perhaps, it’s our evil strategy – annoy Krishna to no end and when He’ll want to finally do something about us, tell Him: “Just grant me devotional service and you’ll never hear me begging you for anything ever again”.

Brilliant – make it His problem and propose Him a solution He would appreciate Himself.

That’s one very crafty parasite here.

Well, whatever works. The end goal is certainly worth it. It is really the best solution for everyone.

The problem lies, of course, in our hearts – even Krishna Himself can’t simply implant love for Him in there. He can take away our illusions, He can take away our material desires, but He can’t make us love Him. This is something we should do ourselves.

Krishna will help. He will bring this horse to water but we should drink ourselves, and learning that takes time.

Thank God we have the Holy Names that make is so much easier.