Vanity thought #520. Sweet dreams

About a week ago I had a dream in which my spiritual master told me to keep doing what I am doing in regards to a little realization I had recently. At the time I didn’t pay much attention to it because it wasn’t like he “appeared”, it felt more like I dreamed him up to fit into the convoluted and pointless dream-storyline.

I don’t even remember when it was, maybe it was before New Year, and I don’t remember what his instruction exactly was. It was clear to me what it was referring to but it was phrased a bit differently from how I describe it to myself.

I was about to completely forget about it but somehow that order still persists and from time to time it comes up in my mind to help me focus, so I’m starting to think that it WAS important after all.

Basically, it was about filtering out the noise and trying to sense my true spiritual nature and my true spiritual relationships with Krishna. The idea is that what I see around me is a phantasmagoria and that I, as the proverbial bird on a branch, should turn my eyes away from it and toward my only true friend – the Supersoul.

I say “sense my spiritual nature” but it’s an oxymoron because it can’t be sensed by receptors provided to me on the bodily platform and my spiritual senses are way too dormant to feel anything, but now I can’t dismiss the idea after it was “confirmed” to me in a dream. I should at least be open to it.

What it means in practice is “seeing” beyond what happens to my body and mind and focusing on my sense of myself as separate from material nature. It is the sense of myself that stays with me during the periods of deep sleep, for example, when the mind and intelligence are completely shut down. Not much to sense in that condition but that’s the sense that I need to “wake up”.

Technically, this perception of one’s spiritual nature is what yogis do, and probably jnanis, too. We have different methods of getting there but I guess the platforms are still the same and exist regardless of our practices.

Actually, what I try to focus on is perception of Krishna or at least awareness of His existence, awareness separated from His external manifestations as the Holy Name or Deities or images and thoughts in my mind. I figure there’s no point in meditating on myself, my goal is to please Krishna, I should focus on Him.

I can’t say I have made much progress but I can’t say I haven’t made any either. There’s no way to describe how it feels, too, because it can’t be felt the way everything else in this world does. It’s just something that I’m aware of.

It’s like catching that imperceptible moment between remembrance of Krishna and the appearance of thoughts about Him. Thoughts are material, remembrance is spiritual. To be clear – I’m not talking about remembering what it looks like or how I remember Him, I’m talking about remembering the concept itself – Krishna exists.

Ideally I should get a personal confirmation that the instruction I was given in a dream is not bogus but I don’t see an easy and practical way to get it at the moment. So far I don’t see how it contradicts everything else I’ve heard about Krishna Consciousness and it doesn’t require any practical actions anyway, so what’s the harm?

I’ll let it brood for a while, let’s see what comes out of it.

On a more practical note I’d like to know how other people see their spiritual masters in their dreams? What’s the atmosphere? Is it formal? Are the instructions delivered in the usual, preaching way? Mine was more like an aside – suddenly I came under my guru’s attention and he simply said: “You should keep focusing on …” Unfortunately I don’t remember how the phrase ended but the meaning was clear.

Next time I will be more careful and try to remember all the details, just in case I will need them later.

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