Vanity thought #381. Overthinking

It’s nice to make a decision to rely on the Lord at all times, it’s not so easy to make it actually happen. Draupadi, as I discussed yesterday, searched for answers elsewhere before turning to Krishna. As soon as she remembered Him, her problem went away. Once you remember Krishna, He extends His helping hand.

Equipped with this transcendental knowledge I tried to apply this method in my day to day life. It turns our my problem is quite the opposite of that of Draupadi – she was thinking of different solutions before turning to Krishna, I start to seek help elsewhere after praying to Him.

What happens is that I ask Him to guide me and then I start second guessing everything I do. Was it Krishna’s advice that just popped up in my mind or do I have to be patient and wait a bit more? When, after some time, I get a whole bunch of the new ideas I completely lose the track of what was supposed to be Krishna’s help and what was just twitching of my own mind.

If I were to face problems of life and death the divinely inspired path would be a lot easier to judge – after I survive. Facing mundane minutiae with identical outcomes is not so easy.

At my level of wasting my time away in relative comfort I don’t really need Krishna’s help, what I am actually looking for here is the voice of the chaitya guru – the Supersoul. Hearing Him is not the same as getting Krishna’s help, which comes maybe once in a lifetime. The Supersoul is our constant companion, Lord Hari, always guiding us on the path of devotion. He talks to us every second of our lives but we, of course, rarely sense even His presence.

The problem here is not in getting His help, as with Krishna, but with hearing Him through the cacophony of our minds. Unlike Krishna presence that is the most wonderful experience of all and is impossible to miss, the voice of the Supersoul requires good listening skills and a high level of self-realization.

Self-realization, I must add, is not some theoretical step, a bubble on the mind map, it’s a very practical achievement. When you have it you can’t miss it, and when you don’t have it you can’t imagine what it feels like.

Instead of talking about seeing the Lord behind movements of each blade of grass, we start actually seeing Him as the cause of all causes. We also lose the sense of hearing to our senses, losing the capacity to experience the world through our material bodies, and gaining the capacity to experience the world through its connection to Lord Hari within our hearts.

Until that happens we will tend to over-think things. Perhaps the ultimate measure of Krishna’s guidance is not in observing the immediate results but in gaining that tiny bit of self-realization along the way, regardless of the solutions to material puzzles placed before us.

Step by step, bit bit, clawing our way up out of this pit of illusion – that’s real Krishna’s help, so let me not over-think things and lose perspective here.

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