Vanity thought #372. Negativity

I’ve had tons of ideas for today’s post but while choosing the best one I noticed that they are all about correcting things, that they are all negative in nature.

I was thinking about the need to bring outside stuff in our Bhagavatam classes, like lessons from Dale Carnegie on how to make friends and influence people. Then I thought I had covered this subject already, there’s no need, outside stuff corrupts our consciousness.

Next I thought how annoyed I become if some outside noise interferes with me listening to records of lectures, even if I can instantly replay the missing parts. At first I was satisfied with my eagerness to hear krishna katha but then I noticed how I don’t care if outside noises interfere with kirtans or bhajanas – Holy Name is a Holy Name and interruption is an interruption. Why hate one interruption but not the other? I need to correct my attitudes here.

Next I thought how we often raise wrong questions and subsequently get wrong answers. I thought I needed to correct that, too.

Then I thought how our anger and complaints often get misdirected and that we end up blaming innocent devotees doing their best, which ruins our spiritual lives. That needs to be stopped.

Then I thought how many of our devotees develop a sense of entitlement, they think the society owes them everything, beginning with respect and recognition. That attitude needs to be changed.

Then I though how often our value system gets corrupted by outside society, how we subconsciously see devotees through the lens of nationalism, for example, and how we think that our way of performing service is the best way. We need to be aware of that.

Then I thought that this fault finding is never going to stop and that it does not add anything to my spiritual progress.

I don’t need this crap in my life. It’s full of it as it is, what I need is glorification of the Lord and His devotees. I do not need to see imperfections in life and much less see imperfections in other devotees. They might not be offended by my thoughts but the Lord will see my attitude and I will suffer for that.

The only way to stop this flow of negativity is to fill my head with positive thoughts instead. As of now I don’t have any but at least I appreciate their value a bit more and I hope the Lord will help me to think positively.

There’s one important point, however – I should rise above the duality of the material world, that means not picking only good things when hearing about devotees. That means if there’s a choice between thinking “this devotee is right on this point” and “this devotee is probably mistaken here” I should hear only “There’s a devotee!!!”. The rest is the duality of this world that should be left alone.

Let’s see if there’s a change in the next few days or weeks. Old habits dies hard but I desperately need new ones, too.

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