Some devotees have sweet stories of Deities coming to them in the dreams and talking to them. Not me.
Last night I had a serial nightmare, serial because I can’t count how many times I was in a “someone’s chasing me” dream. Story line and villains change but the plot is basically the same – run, run, run.
Just like how falling down in the material world is impossible to trace I never have a clue what got me in my dream trouble. All I know is that I have to run.
The interesting part is the subtle evolution of this recurring dream – in the beginning, at times when I was half awake, I was thinking up different clever ways to escape but lately I am into developing some superpowers. In that half away state I clearly rely on various kinds of mystic gifts that I get in reward for my devotional practice.
I would never admit it to myself, only in my dreams.
That is so hugely disappointing – all I subconsciously desire is superpowers ala some kind of jedi?
I should remember it when I feel like some sincerity is entering my prayers, this realization is sobering.
So, should my dreams come true? The chases? The powers? Beware what you wish for.
I remember only one dream connected to Krishna – I was living on Govardhan Hill. It wasn’t Govardhan as we know him, however, the dream was set in a very distant future, when Kali Yuga was ruling the world in full swing. There was snow and chilly winds blowing and there were railway tracks right on top of Govardhan. I didn’t see anyone from my family but we lived in a small, cold hut without electricity, there were no floors, just the earth, and everyone was wearing WWII style coats and boots and we didn’t have any deities or anything valuable or comforable.
There was only a sense of duty to watch after Govardhan, to be with him through that terrible time. It was like there was no other place on Earth for us, nowhere to go, nowhere we wanted to be. By “we” I mean other people living there, though it wasn’t a village.
Should this dream come true?
I’m in two minds – on one hand it’s a pretty exalted position, to be born as a servant of Govardhan, on the other hand – how many lives do I have to go through to get that far in the future?
Should I patiently wait, postponing my surrender until my dream time comes, or should I try to earn Krishna’s mercy right now and never see this world again?
Or does it mean that even in the best case scenario I still have to wait for maybe thousands of years?
Now that’s sobering.
Should I really pray to get reborn as Krishna’s servant again and again? Never thought it would be so serious.