Vanity thought #28. Cancer.

My old friend from high school days got bad news. It looks like cancer, breast cancer.

When we were young I checked it many many times. There was no cancer, now it could be there.

We still keep in touch and though I’m sure she told her husband first I wasn’t much further down the list.

What am supposed to say? She wants to hear how to prolong her life while I already heard enough about potential female competitors to claim her mate as she grows older.

This is just not going to work anymore, no matter what anybody says, and it’s my turn to talk now.

On top of potential cancer she has to hear far more devastating news – there’s no counseling against death, she should give it up now and abandon all hope just as she thinks she needs it the most.

And it’s my turn to break the news?

It’s one thing to ask people to deal with somebody else’s deaths, it’s quite another to ask to deal with one’s own even before the doctors delivered their verdict. They’ve got science behind them, everybody trusts science, what do I have? Who will trust me, a mumbling idiot talking about acceptance of death when everyone else is cheering to fight on?

That’s why I said I’m not the one to talk about preaching. I leave it all in Krishna’s hands, because of lack of faith.

I need a really big think about this one.

One of my friends died of cancer ten years ago. He went with a smile, chanting Holy Names, surrounded by devotees in Vrindavana Dhama. I always considered him a junior and when he told me how he saw Lord Chaitanya, not a rabbit,  dancing in the Moon I just chuckled to myself. Now he is back with Krishna and I am down here, as wretched as ever, being asked to give counsel to another cancer victim, and not even a devotee.

Gloves are off, I’m going to be pummeled.

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